ࡱ> >@= H(bjbjcTcT .:>>8Gc,Cf:KhZZZZZZZ%VZ0CZZZxZjC : Rosenberg M.B. (2003) Non-Violent Communication A Language for Life, Encintas CA: PuddleDancer Marshall B. Rosenberg is the founder and director of educational services for the Center for Non-Violent Communication. He gained his doctorate in clinical psychology in 1961 having studied under Carl Rogers at the University of Wisconsin. His work is strongly influenced by Rogers and other key theorists in the humanistic tradition like Fromm, Maslow and Becker. He also draws on Gandhis work and that of other non-violence activists. In this module we have discussed how the behaviourist model of education and training has re-emerged as the dominant organising force of our current system. We have also noted that many people are drawn to teaching because they are people-centred and have strong values in relation to helping everyone achieve their potential through learning. Inclusive education practices can also bring the teacher into contact with a very wide range of students some of whom will be challenging to communicate effectively with. We have also looked at the limitations of using behavioural modification strategies based on behaviourist principles. Therefore, we are going to investigate this humanistic-based approach to communication as an alternative approach to classroom management. Non-Violence is one of the underpinning values of Education for Sustainable Development. Sustainable development needs tools and systems that can help resolve conflicts effectively and long-term. Sustainable communities must be able to work together and resolve conflicts without using force and violence. Non-Violence should never be thought of as passive. It is not turning the other cheek or adopting a laissez-faire attitude. Instead it is an active and dynamic process that tries to resolve conflict in a way that allows both sides to feel heard and accepted. In our practice, the alternative to not using force, discipline and punishments to maintain authority in the classroom cannot be simply doing nothing. Unfortunately it is only too common for teachers who want to be nice to their students to end up tolerating a great deal of behaviour that they really dont think is right. NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions. (p.3) NVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others..we are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, whilst simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathetic attention. (p.3) The NVC Process The concrete actions we are observing that are affecting our well-being First, we observe what is actually happening in a situation: what are we observing others saying or doing that is either enriching or not enriching our life? The trick is to be able to articulate this observation without introducing any judgment or evaluationto simply say what people are doing that we either like or dont like. How we feel in relation to what we are observing Next, we state how we feel when we observe this action: are we hurt, scared, joyful, amused, irritated, etc.? The needs, values, desires, etc. that are creating our feelings And thirdly, we say what needs of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified. The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives An awareness of these three components is present when we use NVC to clearly and honestly express how we are. For example, a mother might express these three pieces to her teenage son by saying, Felix, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the coffee table and another three next to the TV, I feel irritated because I am needing more order in the rooms which we share in common. She would follow immediately with the fourth componenta very specific request: Would you be willing to put your socks in your room or in the washing machine? This fourth component addresses what we are wanting from the other person that would enrich our lives or make life more wonderful for us. Or to put it another way: NVC offers practical, concrete skills for manifesting the purpose of creating connections of compassionate giving and receiving based in a consciousness of interdependence and power with others. These skills include: 1) Differentiating observation from evaluation, being able to carefully observe what is happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us; 2) Differentiating feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment; 3) Connecting with the universal human needs/values (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding) in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling; and 4) Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we dont want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving). These skills emphasize personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others, as well as how to contribute to relationships based in cooperation and collaboration. There are two parts of NVC 1. Expressing honesty through the four components 2. Receiving empathetically through the four components The other aspect of this communication consists of receiving the same four pieces of information from others. We connect with them by first sensing what they are observing, feeling, and needing, and then discover what would enrich their lives by receiving the fourth piece, their request. As we keep our attention focused on the areas mentioned, and help others do likewise, we establish a flow of communication, back and forth, until compassion manifests naturally: what I am observing, feeling, and needing; what I am requesting to enrich my life; what you are observing, feeling, and needing; what you are requesting to enrich your life.... Practical Exercise Module 3 A role play using NVC techniques to explore a common issue facing teachers especially (but not exclusively) those working with 14-19 year olds Scenario: The teacher is struggling in their level 2 BTEC/NVQ class because of the constant low-level disruption from a number of the students who take every opportunity to chat amongst themselves, play with phones and generally mess about instead of focussing on the task in hand. No individual incidents are serious enough to invoke disciplinary procedures, but the situation is deteriorating. One student is always at the centre of the disruption.. Teachers initial script: Stage 1 0bservation I have noticed that you seem to find it hard to pay attention in class and that you often talk to your friends, play with your phone or generally play around when I am asking you to listen or to join in some group work or get on with your assignment Stage 2 Feelings This makes me feel irritated and frustrated ... Stage 3 needs because in order to do my job well and to help you and your friends pass this course I need to have more a quieter and more focussed atmosphere in class Stage 4 request So, are you prepared to keep your phone in your bag/pocket and leave it off; not talk to your friends when either I or other students are talking about the work/course; and to use class time to make more progress on your assignment work? 4 different student responses 1) Dont know why youre making a fuss Im just having a laugh 2) Its boring I cant be bothered 3) Ive got a lot of problems in my life 4) Im out of my depth/ cant understand/ have learning difficulties Groups to consider these different responses and what might be said. At least 2 versions to be acted out letting the scenario develop. Teacher using NVC techniques and students responding genuinely. Remember: no moralistic judgements; stick to feelings and need; empathetic listening.     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